The bastard farts

Comment overheard the other night in my dining room. Background two crotchety old men were drinking a few beers while eating some crab legs.

Old guy #1: "Know what surprises me now that I am getting old?"

Older guy #2: "What's that?"

#1: "My farts. They hurt a hell of a lot more! I had Mexican and beers last night and I'm farting flaming clouds of lava!"

#2: Laughing..."Yeah, I call 'em the bastard farts. Those burnin' bastards sneak up on ya' and try to light your drawers on fire!"

Both men laughed till they nearly had coughing fits. I laughed hard enough I had a tear in my eyes, which only caused them to laugh harder.