Friday, March 23, 2007

Signs you might be a bad customer

Waiter over on has come up with a (short) list of signs that you might be an asshole customer. I've copied 25 of the 50 he started this list with below. Feel free to add your own in the comments here and at WaiterRant.

50 Signs You Might be An Asshole Customer

1) You bring your own teabags.

2) You ask for separate checks after you’ve finished your meal.

3) You’re a foreigner who knows the customary tip in the US is 15% but feign ignorance so you can save a few bucks.

4) You bring your own appetizers. (Swear that happened to me once.)

5) You ask “What are the specials?” before your ass hits the chair.

6) After you’ve eaten all of your food you decide you don’t like it and demand a full refund.

7) You ask the waiter for ice, sugar, and lemon and make your own lemonade. (I’ve seen people make their own ice tea too!)

8) You request a list of the CD’s we’re playing on the house stereo.

9) You bring your dog or cat into the restaurant. (This isn’t France!)

10) You arrive on time but your friends are an hour late. You insist on being sat in the dining room but refuse to order anything more complicated than water with lemon and five baskets of bread.

11) You tell the waiter you’re allergic to something when you’re not.

12) You bring your cup of Starbucks coffee into the restaurant.

13) You have a $50 dollar gift certificate and a hundred dollar check. The waiter deducts the gift certificate from your total and you only tip the waiter on the remaining $50.

14) You tell the waiter you’re “in the business.”

15) You demand the best table on Saturday night even though you don’t have a reservation.

16) The check’s $100.01 and you split the check between two credit cards. You get the credit card slip for $50.01 and your friend gets the one for $50. He leaves a $7.50 tip and you leave one for $7.49.

17) You’re late for your reservation and don’t bother to call.

18) You make five reservations at five restaurants, pick one, and don’t bother to tell the others you’re canceling.

19) You’ve paid the check, you have your coats on, but you still won’t leave.

20) You get sat five minutes before closing and say “We don’t want to be rushed.”

21) You have sex in the restroom and don’t clean up after yourselves.

22) You let your sweet little children run rampant throughout the restaurant and think it’s “cute.”

23) You just walk in and sit down, ignoring the hostess.

24) You don’t tip the coat check girl.

25) You claim you’re “a friend of the owner.” So what? 5000 people are operating under a similar delusion.


ktlee said...

Your order is so complicated no one can understand it, and then complain the whole time that the food is're not paying for it, etc.

ktlee said...

You're kid grabs the servers breast "tickle, tickle" and you think it's cute.

Sarah said...

Not sure if this was brought up, but here is a tell-tale (and blatently obvious) sign you have a bad customer: you walk by another server's section and one of his/her tables begins to complain to you about the food. You tell them you'll take care of it and let their server know, and they have a puzzled look on their faces, insisting that YOU ARE their server. I mean, come on. I'm to the point where I don't care if customers remember my name, but they should at least be able to distinguish me from someone who looks completely different.

The Brother Hammer said...

things are a bit in Chicago.

eaguerlain said...

Before I started working in a restaurant, I knew absolutely nothing about sections, that servers only made 2.15 an hour, or how asking to sit elsewhere screwed people up and how hanging out was holding up one of the server's tables, or a thousand other things. I mean, I think it's hard to blame people for these things when they may honestly not know they're making things difficult for you. I think the real problem is that the customers aren't informed about these simple facts. Thankfully I was taught to never tip less than 15%, but now I believe 18% to be the minimum if there aren't any problems. But I do say that customers who never worked in a restaurant before should be taught these things. (Also I do deliveries and you wouldn't believe the people who don't even tip at all. Like, gas costs money people. I didn't fly here on a broomstick for crying out loud hahha)Love your site, very funny articles!