Thursday, March 26, 2009

Calling in a Domestic

I'm going all PSA on you asses today.

One of the more painful things I have had the misfortune of experiencing in my career in food service in the domestic disputes that take place at my place of work.

You'd be surprised how many people overstep the boundaries of normal social interaction with their loved ones in public places, especially ones that serve alcohol. I've broken up fights between lovers in bars that I've worked in. Usually there people are with them and they could go their separate ways to cool off for a period. That often isn't the case at a restaurant.

Years ago a group of my co-workers and I observed a lesbian couple whose relationship was clearly on the rocks. I have no idea why they thought Red Lobster would be the place to work out their differences. They sat in my section for a couple of hours during the early afternoon, going back and forth about who did what to whom. Then they brought out the big guns. Who wasn't paying bills, and who cheated on who with each other. It became quite heated, and one of the ladies apparently went too far, causing her former lover to start bawling and bolt out of our restaurant.

It was at this point other servers took notice because these two ladies had been in a remote corner of our dining room where no other servers had been on for a few hours.

I had been watching this play out, but wasn't close enough to hear what happened. They were already cashed out, so I wasn't honestly too worried on my end. Their conversation was much too heated for me to interrupt anyhow. So the lady bolts out of the restaurant, leaving all her stuff behind - purse, sweater, keys were all still sitting there. The lover left behind gets up and walks over to where I am rolling silver and asks me to watch their stuff, and that she'll be right back. "Sure thing ma'am."

Now at this point of the story, you need to know that the crying lady who ran out was a very attractive and quite thin woman, about 5'7" and leggy. I think she had come from work because she was wearing heals and a professional looking skirt and blouse. The lady left behind was a fairly stout butch looking lady, with short cropped hair, blue jeans with a chain and leather wallet. I would guess she was also about 5'10" and at least half again the weight of crying woman.

So everyone sees the woman run out crying, and a few servers make their way to the windows where the woman is crying and leaning against a car.

Moments after the larger lady left my section, a friend literally runs back to where I am still rolling silver and shouts - "You've got to see this" and runs off. Curious, I take off after him.

Out in our parking lot skinny crying lady is now pounding the shit out of her larger lover. It appears something has snapped in her, and all the rage is now coming out. A manager yells at the host to call the cops and runs outside. Wisely, he doesn't physically intervene.

While being much smaller, the skinny lady had more than enough rage to overcome any size advantage. Plus, she was much quicker. I'm guessing she does Tae Bow or something, cause she's raining down blows on the larger lady like MMA ground and pound. The larger lady tackles her (on the paved parking lot) and proceeds to roll skinny lady onto her stomach (while skinny lady kicks away, and at one point manages to get a shoe in hand and uses that as a weapon for a few strikes). Large woman then just sits on the back of the smaller woman and asks over and over for her to calm down (we're all watching out the front door at this point).

The story ends with the arrival of the cops a few minutes later, and the two bloodied women being carted off in the police cars. I had to go back in with an officer and collect up all their belongings, and on the way in the officer kinda snickered and said "That must've been a pretty uneven fight, the one is twice the other's size."

"No, not really." I replied.

"That little lady has quite a bit of bull dog in her from what I saw. She won the fight no contest."

Stupid me, opening my mouth, now I had to give a statement. Thankfully the officer didn't have a lot of questions, and I was about to take a break between shifts anyhow.

But in the end, it made for an entertaining but very sad afternoon. I enjoy fights, things like boxing and MMA (especially MMA!), but not so much when it is like this. I can't help but think of the ramifications. I've seen parents carted off with kids present in other sitations. There are no winners in a domestic altercation.

If you or someone you know is being abused, don't put up with it, leave and get help.

A great place to start is and

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