If you're coming to Red Lobster to get hammered...

We've had a new regular in our restaurant.  Well...at least new to most of us, but I'll get to that back story later.

This new regular showed up about 8 weeks ago now I'm guessing, beginning of summer.  The first night she came in, I had the pleasure of waiting on her.  Wonderfully nice lady.  Mid-40's, slightly overweight but carries it very well.  Divorced, no kids, no cats!!!!!!! and one dog.  Drives a pretty bad-assed Pontiac G8 that she's had tuned.  We'll call her "Becky" for the story to protect the guilty.

I did my intro and she ordered a beer and a tequila chaser.  A bit odd, but I didn't pry.  She seemed happy, and was pleasant to me throughout the meal.  She ate light, boxed half her salad and had the fish I recommended to her in the half portion size.  When I brought out the salad the shot was gone and the beer was 2/3's empty as well.  She asked for a second round.  So I brought it thinking this would probably be the end.  As she wrapped up her eating and I asked about desert, she asked that I bring her something fun from the bar.  I rattled off a list of a few of my favorite after dinner drinks and Becky said "I've never had any of them, but I've never had a drink I didn't like so take your pick and bring it to me with the bill."  I got her a Brandy Alexander (YUM!) Ice Cream drink, and since it was slow in the bar I actually got real ice cream instead of that fake nasty shit we normally use.

Lady.

Loved it.

Started coming onto me.

Asked if she could "thank me" after I got off of work.

She's pretty good looking.

Has money...but no.  I've found a woman that puts up with me & I'm not looking for more than that at this point in my life.

I told her I was flattered and that she was about 20 years too late.  Yes honey, we met 20 years ago.  Gawd I'm old.

As she finished her drink & paid me (35% tip!) she asked me to chat for a few minutes.  It was a slow night and I had side work I was already putting off until later anyhow, so I humored her.  Got a bit of her back story.  Her family owned a number of bars & restaurants that she oversees with a minimal amount of involvement.  She said they were basically her trust fund/cash cow and that she pays people good sums of money to take care of them so she doesn't have to.  She had recently moved to town to be closer to the hub of their operations since there are 5 establishments of her's in town.  Yes, her's.  Her parents both died last year and her sister didn't want any of it "since she's married to this rich lawyer prick."

Then she got to the point.  Becky explained that she's a bit shy, new in town, and desperately wanted to get laid.  But she didn't want to be some tramp at the local watering hole picking up who knows what, so she thought she'd come here, get drunk, and see where the night took her.  How's that for being open and honest!

Then she apologized for hitting on me, which I told her again I took no offense at.  She asked if I had any suggestions.  I asked if she knew of the family adult toy shop down the street (yes, family!  Actually a pretty classy place, no bad/nasty porn and not filled wall to wall with creepy pervs).  She made it clear she didn't believe in toys.  She wanted a man.

Now as a man I know at least 10 men who at any given time would have paid her for the pleasure, and as a waiter that number probably jumps to at least 100.  But I found myself a bit reluctant to set her loose on anyone I knew, and I think she could sense it.  So she thanked me for the conversation, finished her drink, and got up to leave (I assumed).

But as she made it to the lobby, she detoured to the bathroom.  I quit paying attention at that point having noticed the tip she left, and got back to the side work I'd been putting off.  Maybe a half hour later, I walked through the bar, and there she was bellied up to the bar chatting up one of my co-workers "Dave" who rides the bus home.  He's a good guy, was a Marine for 10+ years & is back going to school now.  He's in his early 30's, I figured he could handle himself if this went where I suspected it was going.

The next day it was the talk of the store.  Apparently when she went into the bar, she asked the bar tender for another beer, shot of tequila, and if he wanted to fuck.  That conversation didn't last long though because he's queerer than Liberace.  Plus, he wouldn't serve her any more because he knew what she'd had already.

Dave jumped on that landmine from the best we can tell.  He's an honorable man, so he didn't kiss & tell.  But it was obvious when he showed up at work the next morning in his car rather than on the bus, and she was with him.

I gave him the raised eyebrow, and he just shrugged with a sheepish grin.  Nothing more was said by him (or her) but there was a buzz for a week in the story.  And now 8 weeks later, they're talking marriage.  And the crazy thing is, I actually think it will work!

Becky has started to drive Dave to work & pick him up every day.  They've looked at a home together, and even went on a vacation together.  It is like a movie love story with one crazy beginning! 

And it all started because she came to Red Lobster to get hammered.