Monday, August 20, 2012

People of Walmart

The other night I was reminded of People of Walmart.

I don't generally frequent Walmart, and when I do, it is usually when the sun is shining in the morning before I used to go into work.

But as life would have it, I found myself in my local Walmart shortly after 1:00am (a story for a different time).  I had planned on getting in and out for the two things I needed.  But I kid you not, I spent nearly an hour walking the aisles, just people watching.  I've seen a few funny get ups in my day, and even a few at Walmart.  But nothing like this.

I'm pretty sure EVERY photo at PoW is from my neighborhood.  I left my phone in the car, so I didn't even get a chance to chronicle it.  But it was beyond word.  A giant shitheap of hilarious/disgusting/pathetic/sad/revolting with a double dose of skank and nappy ho mixed in.

If they sold popcorn and beer I think I could go there every night just to watch!

Those toddlers who used to be tearing shit up in my section just before close?  They were there in overly full diapers walking through the toy section carrying a half eaten Popsicle.   At 1am.

Stoned teens with the munchies and giggles.

A handful of thongs that waved surrender 175lbs ago.

Fewer teeth than you would believe.

And skin.  Lots of skin.  Pasty, fleshy, pockmarked, stretchmarked, ashy, giggly, wiggly, it shouldn't look like that skin.  The holy shit factor was off the scale.

All I could think of was "Fuck."  And where's the pork rinds...

3 comments:

steve_in_pa said...

We have two local Wal-marts here, affectionately known as the 'ghetto Wal-mart' and the 'redneck Wal-mart'. Ten miles and two worlds apart. Amazingly, you see the same things, just different clientele. Two AM, and every motorized wheelchair is in use. Tweeners in electronics playing the latest Playstation games, no parents in sight. You nailed it with the skin. Seems the more they have, the more they want to show. Front, back, middle, held in (or not) with pajama bottoms, two-sizes-too-small halters, saggy jeans, or worse yet, skinny jeans trying to convince the hindside that it actually fits in them, kinda like a size 9 foot in a size 5 shoe. And ink. Lots of body art. Is there anyone under the age of forty that isn't totally covered in tattoos? If there are, they're not at Wal-mart. Oh, and the pork rinds are located in front of the store, so you can't miss them heading in or out. Near the registers. Forty registers and two open ones. Manned by former (and soon to be future) Wal-mart customers. Think it's bad now, go back the week before Christmas. And bring your camera!

Anonymous said...

its like only the dregs want to pro create anymore...Wal Mart is always a freak show..

Paula said...

These Walmart people are the ones that eat at Red Lobster. Walmart ad Red Lobster go hand in hand. GHETTO