Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Too cheap to take your date out for Valentines?

Oh the joys of working the day before Valentines Day. This is the day when all the cheap people go out because they don't want to pay the money and wait in line on the actual day. I understand some people (waiters) have to work on Valentines, but my expereince is that waiters are always the best tippers on average, and last night, according to my tips, I was not waiting on many waiters. You can tell right away when you have one of these tables (the ones on the cheap). They arrive dressed up in what one can only guess must be their best sweater (classy!). They order the Ultimate Feast, and make a big show of ordering it, like they are the first people in the restaurant that day to order this expensive meal. They labor over the drink menu, frequently settling on some abusurd alcohol drink that my experience tells me they've probably never tried before, and the look on their faces when they first try it confirms. The demand extra bread they don't eat, more dressing they never use, extra drawn butter that gets cold and congeals without being touched. Then, in a moment of nobility, they pay you, leaving at best 8% for being such pains in the ass all evening. Thank you very much I say, while thinking enjoy your bus ride home. All too frequently these types of tables come in (not just on holidays, but more frequently around holidays) to our restaurant. They'll spend $22 each on a meal, $7 more on a fish bowl sized bar drink, an appetizer or two, and then leave their waiter a garbage tip. These generally are the most demanding of tables. They arrive with some magical blinders that keeps them from seeing they are NOT the only table in the section/resturant.

It's even better when they do this, and then spend the whole meal on their cell phones. Very romantic. Your adept text messaging is really getting her in the mood tonight sir. Are you sure you should be texting your other girlfriend at this moment?

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who goes to Red Lobster for Valentine's Day? If I took my wife there I'd be single by President's Day. That's why the tips are shitty - those people aren't just cheap, they've got no class.

Lobster Boy said...

I can't say I disagree with your assessment. I could describe the segments of the population who come to Red Lobster on holidays (and nightly after 9:00 PM) but that would only server to further stereotype those groups of people. It's not middle-aged white laywers who drive Mercedes. :-)

Lobster Boy

Anonymous said...

Where I used to work, coupons were not valid on Valentine's Day, so the 13th was a triple whammy: cheap, no class, and "we have a coupon". Yeah, no shit, you and everybody else in this fucking place.

Did you work on Valentine's Day Lobster Boy?

Lobster Boy said...

I worked 6ish hours on Valentine's day. 11:15-5:00. I got out before it became a zoo, but I missed out on the sizable amounts of money to be made. Instead I cooked supper for my wife. I think I chose correctly even though I made less money.

Lobster Boy