Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Do you realize how stupid you are?

There are a few things every waiter/waitress hates. There are some things that are universally considered as poor ettiquette, ignorant, and just plain stupid. Tonight I had one such encounter.

The lady was mid-40's, with a cute early college daughter in tow. My guess is they were out shopping tonight for matching cell phones. Daughter orders Jumbo Coconut Shrimp meal. Mother says "I'd like the same, the Crunch Shrimp." I clarify "The Crunch Shrimp for you?" "Yes, with baked..."

So I deliver the food, ask if they need anything else. No? Ok, I'll check back in a minute.

I come back for my 2 bite check, and my lady hasn't touched her food. She looks unhappy. I ask how everything is tasting.

"This isn't what I ordered."
"What isn't ma'am?"
"These shrimp."
"They are the Crunch Shrimp you asked for ma'am."
"No, I said I wanted the same as her (pointing to daughter's Coco Shrimp)."
"Ma'am, that's why I clarified with you that you wanted the Crunch Shrimp when I was taking your order. Would you like something different?"
"This is not what I ordered. I said I wanted the Coconunt Shrimp."
"Ma'am, again, this is why I clarified when I was taking your order. I verified that you said Crunch Shrimp, I even wrote it down here, but I will gladly get you Coconut Shrimp if you would like."
Raising her voice "I didn't order this." (her daughter is now trying to sink beneath the table)
"Ma'am, I've offered to get you something else, what would you like me to do?"
"I want what she is having."
Taking her plate from in front of her I state "I'll be back shortly."

What is it with people? Do you think I want to bring you the wrong food? Do you just think I make up whatever I want to hear (in spite of what you might be saying) and then write down this imaginary order (of course after verifing verbally with you) and then ring in this wrong order so I can piss you off? That's exactly the scam us waiters have working.

If you are that stupid, you should be required to wear a helmet any time you go out in public. A big road cone orange one, so we can identify you at a glance, and of course for your own protection.

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Anonymous said...

Well, on behalf of that woman, oh wait, no, she's clearly a moron. I waiting tables, too, and I feel your pain. I love your site.

Anonymous said...

I think I meant to type: "I've waited tables, too." Talk about morons...

Brad said...

When the woman said she'd have what her daughter ordered and called it by something else, you should've made more of an effort to clarify what she really wanted. It's not always that easy, with the people from corporate working into the night to come up with cutesy sound-alike names, but it was your responsibility to find out what she really wanted and it's pretty clear that she didn't want what she thought she was ordering. It's evident enough from the story, and maybe she just didn't feel comfortable with demanding a replacement.

Really, who is the idiot here?

Natalie said...

The woman is clearly a moron, but perhaps you could have really spelled it out for her. You could have said, "Do you want Coconut Shrimp or Crunch Shrimp?" And then if she insisted that she wanted crunch you could say, "I only ask because your daughter ordered coconut."

In the end however, I just don't like it when people refuse to admit that they were wrong.

Peppers waiter said...

Where I work, half the things are named "fajita". Even I get it wrong now and then. Its really hard when half the things have the same name. I dont blame you. Some people say things wrong but mean what they say. could have gone either way. I hate people...

Lobster Boy said...

The lady had her finger on the Crunch Shrimp when ordering (showing it to me) and I pointed to it with my pen when I clarified. I made sure it was what she wanted. I've been in this game long enough to not stop at one level. I'm sure she realized she was the idiot, she left me a fat tip (22%).

Lobster Boy

The Necklace Lady said...

Bill Engvall (comedian) says that stupid people should carry signs that say they're stupid so we'll all know who they are. I like the idea of the orange cone on their heads even better. That way you can see them coming from a distance.

Wide Lawns said...

I deal with stupid people like this constantly at my job too. I just found your blog and I love it. My cousin used to work at Red Lobster and she will definitely appreciate these stories. Her RL was in South Florida so hers was even more ghetto and crazy. I loved the story about the guy with the spinners trying to walk out on his check. And you know, people make fun of RL, but where else can you get a perfectly cooked lobster and a potato for 22.99? Nowhere.

Unknown said...

I used to work at Staples, the only people worse than Idiots, are people who think that you can bend over and pull whatever they wish for out of your butt. News Flash, We're not Wishing Wells! You're site is awesome man, I can totally relate.

50sme said...

I feel the same as Brad and Natalie. Your 'Moron' said "I'll have the same...the crunch shrimp". Since you knew already that 'the same' was not in fact crunch shrimp, you could have said, "Maam, you said you want the same as your daughter, she is having coconut shrimp, not the crunch shrimp, you're saying you want what she is having?"
If you ask me, it was a simple miscommunication. I doesn't mean that your customer was a complete moron. Its sad to think that my server might be seething at me all night just because I didn't order correctly. I kind of think its meant to call her a moron after she left you a decent tip. Just because you've been a waiter at red lobster for a long time doesn't mean that you're always going to be right. It's ok to admit that one isn't perfect without calling the other a moron.

50sme said...

please excuse the screw up above...I meant to type "It's kind of mean to call her a moron after she left you a decent tip"