Thursday, January 24, 2008

Pet Peeves Pt. 2

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. It drives me crazy. Dirty old ladies are the worst for this, the bluer the hair, the worse the offender. Moms come in a distant second.

Used tissues.


The last thing I want to do is pick up your snot covered booger catcher. After you have honked that schnoz, blasting mucus bombs from that double barreled ski ramp of your's.

I don't care if you wad them up. I don't care if you put them on a plate. I want nothing to do with this vile disease infested napkin of your's.

Go to the bathroom. Blow your nose there you inconsiderate disgusting hag. It's bad enough I had to hook the coffee up to you on an IV drip, and now you do this to me? Excuse me while I puke on you. There, we're even.

Throw away your own bio-hazard biotch.

And if you or especially your kid gets a bloody nose, you damn well better not leave those tissues at the table, or on the booth, or the floor. I catch you doing that and I might have to bloody the other nostril you haven't stuck your finger in.

And you old guys with the handkerchief in your pocket, you aren't far behind the lady pus bags. I don't want to touch your money when I see your hand go into that same pocket where you store that snot rag you haven't washed since Nixon was president. Just how many snot rockets can a single piece of cloth contain? It's a surprise that Bubonic Plague hasn't made a comeback with some of you disgusting bastards on the loose.


Dolly Iris said...

omg! i agree with you 100% on this but ugh... now i'm barfolicious!

Kirk said...

I once had a mom hand me a dirty diaper. The problem with this, other than the obvious fact that it was a dirty diaper, was that the kids blew out his diaper and shit was overflowing out of it. On top of that, there was shit all over the high chair he was sitting in.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Kirk. I've had the diaper thing, only they don't try to hand it to me, they just leave it on the table. With the tissues, I get gloves from the kitchen. I'm not touching the snot, and it's flu season too so that makes it worse. It multiplies, and they leave the snotrags on the plates. Fucking nasty.

Cricket said...

Why would you touch someone else's used tissue wherever they leave it? I can't remember ever not being able to knock tissues/wadded up napkins onto a plate and then scrape them into the trashcan at dish. If a customer gets a bit of gristle in their meat and doesn't make a huge deal out of it to management, it's probably wadded (combined with spit) in a napkin or tissue at the table--would you have them run to the bathroom to remove the offending material, as well?

mrclm said...

I don't know if you wait tables or not, but my experience is that I find tissues on the floor under tables and booths, and in the cracks of our booths where the seat meets the back pad. The ones on the table are easy to deal with, but when you have to crawl under a booth (and I'm a big guy!) to get a wadded up bunch of used kleenex it is really gross.

I'll add another pet peeve to this thread - people who put gum under tables (or under chairs!). Would love to hear a rant from the LB on these people!

And how about the booger on the bathroom wall? I can live without seeing your dried up crusty! As Napoleon would say "Frickin gross!"

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to drop a line and let you know that I used this post of yours in this weeks edition of The Round Table. I wanted to help get this one out to my readers.

If you would like to host Round Table sometime, you're more than welcome. You don't have to, but I'd like to keep using your posts sometimes if that's cool with you. This one was too good to pass up!


Cheesemeister said...

I hate to say it but my nose drips a lot and I don't think putting a cork in it would look too good so I tend to dab at it discreetly. But I would never put my used Kleenex on the table for a server to have to take away. Hell, I wouldn't even do that in a doctor's office for the nurse to have to dispose of!
My ex-husband, however, is one of the offenders with the cloth handkerchief in his pocket. No, that's not why he's my ex, and I'm on decent terms with him. We actually go out as a family on occasions like our son's birthday. But the handkerchief is one reason why I never pined for him when I decided that the marriage was not only dead, it was rotting.