Wednesday, January 13, 2010

GSS - Guest Satisfaction Surveys

Let me go on record and mention that the guest satisfaction surveys that Darden uses suck (both Red Lobster and Olive Garden use them, and likely other places as well I suspect).

My first complain is they are a huge pain in the ass, especially when we are busy. Only a manager is supposed to present them to the table. If the managers are busy fixing the shit the kitchen just messed up and listening to the drunk old bag on table 47 complain that her scampi was too hot, then you wait. That means your customer waits. And waits. And waits. That means they aren't happy because their last memory is waiting for their check. And it doesn't matter if you tell them they got a survey, they don't want to wait for it. They don't care about the survey for the most part, they just want to make it to their movie or their next bong hit. And who does that hurt? The server. If your last experience is waiting for your server to bring the check, every minute that passes means less money in my pocket.

And then it always seems that when you get a table of ass clowns who bitched about everything from the moment they hit the parking lot, that they get a survey. You know no matter how much brown is on your lips from kissing ass that if they take the survey it won't go well. And of course there are those tables where you simply fucked up, and again, you don't want the survey. As servers, there is not supposed to be any way for us to make those surveys disappear. Managers can do it, but we supposedly can't. Little secret, if you know the computer system well enough, you can make that survey go away. I'm not about to give that little secret away, but suffice it to say, I've bailed a handful of servers out of trouble over the years. Sorry, some secrets cannot be shared. I won't even share how to do it with my co-workers. But there is a work around. Be warned, if you caught you'll get canned for it almost for sure.

Then of course there are the area dictators...er...directors who spank their managers regularly over their GSS scores. Hey Red Lobster, the system sucks. It's killing good local managers and has for years caused mid level regional managers to have their heads far to far up our local managers asses. They don't need that degree of micromanagement. If your managers are that incompetent, you shouldn't have hired them in the first place, and you should fire them now to make up for that. Otherwise back the hell off a little bit, give them some breathing room and let them do what you hired them to do. Maybe they'll surprise you and actually do a good job once they quit having to worry about being kicked in the nuts daily because some stoned asshole was too stupid to press the #5 on their phone.

And finally, there are those chode suckers who wouldn't give a 5 if Wolfgang Puck blew them all meal long and Emeril gave them a happy ending for desert. Hey jerkoff - giving a 4 is like crapping in a box and mailing it back to us. I stinks and is good for nothing. If we were a 4, give the 4, but don't pull this lame shit that "nobody can be a 5, everyone can improve something."

6 comments:

Waitress said...

I work at the OG, and I also hate GSS's! It seems that certain people will keep getting them all night long. And often if you comp or void anything on a check it becomes a GSS. The whole thing about 4's not being counted is lame sauce. If they aren't gonna count 4's they shouldn't count 3's either. Can't even explain the agony of handing your GSS to a manager and watching them continue to stuff their face or talk about the new purse they just bought for 5 fucking minutes before dropping it. And no one even takes the survey! It takes like 10-15 minutes to call in, not worth it!

morgan_matthew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

It would be nice if the surveys actually reflected back on the individual server. Sometimes I think I'm only one keeping our GSS scores afloat. It would be nice to have proof of that. Also did anyone notice in the new RL commercial that the gentleman was served his meal first before the lady?

Paula said...

the stuff chain corporate restaurants are made of.....i hate the whole corporate scene....i do what i have to do and dont give a damn about their GSS and their add-ons. Doesnt put any money in my pocket so why would i care

Lobster Boy said...

Paula,
I'd strongly disagree that add-on don't put money in your pocket. They do. They make a HUGE difference in my take home. My daily/weekly/monthly sales are regularly higher than anyone else working the same hours/shifts I do, and it is because I NEVER miss a chance for an add-on or up sale suggestion. I'd much rather have 15% of $5000 sales a week ($750) than 15% of $4200 per week ($630). And that is a realistic difference. That's an extra $6000 in my pocket in a 50 week work year. And since I've been waiting tables 10ish years, that is $60,000. Now add the compounding interest to that, and it really adds up. (of course taxes are take too)

There is no faster way to increase your take home than to increase your sales. It really is that simple. Assuming you are competent at your job and not vomit inducingly fugly.

Lobster Boy

str8service said...

working out of RL I 4 2 yrs now, am shocked by the way they run the restaurant . I MISS the old way of customer hospitality !! A Great smile with awarm greeting, finding a way 2 conect. I moved from the southwest to northeastern IN. WOW ..NOT a fan of the GSS. The random doesnt really make us see the whole picture.,In a nut shell my restaurant could use a good cleaning, idont get paid enough 2 do that.