Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Fashion show at Red Lobster

Let me be the first to say that I am not a fashionista. I have a wide range of what I would consider normal for most occassions. From time to time I have seen things that vary outside of this range make its way into my dining room. I've spent countless minutes pondering some of these fashion statements. Over the next few weeks I'll be writing on a few of my favorites.

Let's start with the Slutty Looking Biker Skank (SLBS). We're not talking about the Hot Harley Honies (HHH). What is the thought process here?

These ladies have taken their fashion cues from Zena Princess Warrior, but the problem is they haven't looked good in that little bit of clothes in 15 years and 50lbs. And from time to time you get the bonus of the unwashed leather outfit. Doesn't that thing get a bit smelly?

Just how much crank do you have to injest to choose this as your daily fashion? I always love the perfume of stale cigarettes, the brown teeth, and the skin that look like a leather chammy left out in the sun for too long.

Often times you find them traveling with a real winner of man, likely wearing a shirt (with holes in it) that says "If you can read this the bitch fell off" or "Gas, Grass, or Ass, nobody rides for free."

I'll give a free pass to anyone on their way to or home from the Sturgis Bike Rally. Outside of that, this fashion needs to be retired.

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OldSchoolD15 said...

I know exactly the type. You should see what else darkens OUR doorways. I'm all for self-expression, but some people need to be informed that they're living in the big, grown-up, civilized world now, and there are certain rules that need to be followed.

Thanks for the link!

Lobster Boy said...

The worst part is when, like Pig Pen in Charlie Brown, their stench of stale smoke rolls in and fogs you unexpectedly. It's one thing to smoke, it's something completely different to smell like the Marlboro factory just burned down.

Lobster Boy

Brad #1 said...

It's usually these people that ride Honda motorcycles, or some rip-off of a Harley.

Lobster Boy said...

I honestly don't care what brand they ride. I love motorcycles. I got my first one at the age of 4, and have never been far from one. I worked in a cycle shop for 6 years, and have been to the Sturgis Rally more than 15 different years. In spite of all of that, I will never understand this "style" of dress.

Lobster Boy

OldSchoolD15 said...

Hey, seeing as how you're generally emotionless, check out my take on emotions, titled "I laughed, I cried, it was... Emotional".

Reciprocity said...

everyday i thank God for small graces like the clean indoor air act.

Psychobabble said...

Both to this and the entry above.