Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Children, and the children who raise them

Honestly, if you are going to beat your child, please take it outside, or at least the the bathroom. Neighboring booths aren't interested in how you're "searching for your belt to whup that ass". I suspect your child would be better behaved if you drank a little bit less Hennessy and put the 3 year old to bed before 11:00PM. Children need consistency, but drunk, high and stupid are not the sort of consistency we're talking about here. And no, we don't take WIC. $5 on $89 after watching your circus, listening to your child scream for an hour, and cleaning up the mess strewn by your uncontrollable spawn, is an ignorant crap tip. And we wonder why our education system is messed up. It's crappy parents.

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Shelly said...

That poor child. Thank God not all parents are like that.

Ray said...

Love the blog! You're right about the kids needing consistency. Mine are in bed by 7pm each night (even on weekends) and I wouldn't think twice about yanking them out of a restaurant for bad behavior.

I used to be a Public School teacher. You hit the nail on the head with crappy kids = crappy parents. That apple doesn't fall far from the tree. It's tough to blame the kid when what I really want to do is string up the parents!

Best of Luck!


Trish said...

yea, we get people asking to use EBT (food stamps) at the Olive Garden too.

I can't believe what parents let their kids get away with. I had to give a table 7 straws one day, because little johnny kept taking them and throwing them on the floor. today i watched a kid throw a plate on the floor. not to mention crayons, wrapper papers, etc. I understand kids drop stuff, but just letting them pick up more stuff and throw them on the floor is ridiculous.

i want to tip every mom that comes in and cleans up after their kids before leaving. just a little gesture, some common decency, goes a loooooong way in this world.

ktlee said...

This week I hate serving. It seems like all I've had are families who came to the "big city" from the backwoods. Thanks, 8% not a good tip.

briliantdonkey said...

I know I am going to feel stupid when I see the answer, but what is wic?


Brad said...

WIC: women, infants, children - coupons to supplement food purchases for low income / no income families. Lobster Boy consistently uses this and other little cues, like mentioning they drink Hennessy, to let us know that his worst customers are black without having to come out and say it.

Lobster Boy said...

The abusive skank was drinking Hennessy. I'm telling it how it is. I've not held back on any race or sex for the record. It is reality however that 70%+ of our problems are caused by about 20% of our customers.

Lobster Boy

OldSchool36 said...

I knew exactly what color their skin was, not by the way they (don't) control their children, but simply that Hennessy was mentioned, lol. Is that me being stereotypical? Funny that I was right, though, huh?

Denise said...

the restaurant that i work for recently rolled out a new drink for the season, and i immediately thought of you. guess our target audience with this drink:

first, a layer of hennessy, then a layer of frozen hurricane, then frozen margarita and a float of hypnotic on top.

riva0060 said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I'm still laughing, and you know what I work friday and I swear I will see something that will make me think of this post and will start laughing again. YOU ARE FUCKING RIGHT!!! I'm sorry a lot of times it's tragic but what else can we do?! Amen to this, Thank you!!!