Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Today I want to talk about what I believe to be almost an industry standard. I have worked in more restaurants than I care to admit in the last 20 or so years of my life, and in each an every one of them there was at least one guy who fit this category. That category being "hump it if it moves, and if it doesn't move poke it, and then hump it anyhow."
You know the type right? I've (unfortunately ;-) ) never met a woman like this. It's always a guy. He was probably the guy you knew as kids who humped knot holes in trees until he discovered bees like to live there.
He's the guy who goes into the women's bathroom and write his own name and number on the walls.
This is the guy who stands at the service station filling drinks and scoping the dining room for MILFs. And he's the guy who will just walk by you and state a table number, just assuming you want to go see the lady at table 26 as well.
This is the guy who is constantly trailing around any new hire, knowing she hasn't been here long enough to be repulsed by him yet. He's also the guy that at least a handful of ladies you work with have slept with after one (or more likely ten) drinks too many. And he's never discreet after he bangs you. Remember Wesley Snipe's character from "Major League"? This guy is like him, only he hangs panties on his wall instead of batting gloves.
And yet women keep screwing him. I worked with one of these guys, who openly admitted to having had a couple of STD's over the years, and yet women still mounted him with great regularity. More often than not I think it was he relentlessness in pursuing them, and his inability to understand "not interested".
I would regularly warn my new female trainees in one restaurant. I'd warn them that he's going to be friendly and persuasive and that he has a history. And I would warn them if they were lured in, to not allow him to video it, because people won't forget that (really!). I wouldn't ever go beyond that, but I felt I had to do something at least. In the end, it's still their choice, and I'm not a babysitter nor their parent.
And don't think for a moment this is limited to straight males. I've worked with both gay and bi men who fit this mold too. I once worked with a chubby chaser who nearly got a sexual harassment suit because of his fondness for one of our dishwashers. Our dishwasher, in his limited English, tried his best to explain that he didn't like men. At all. Yet tap that ass guy kept on, and on, and on until one of the older Latinos scared him off with the threat of a law suit. And no, the Latinos would never go to the management with this. You'd be more likely to find tap that ass guy dead in a dumpster with his balls chopped off and stuffed in his mouth.
I worked with a guy whose stated goal was to shag someone from each department on our staff in just one summer (management included). He came pretty close supposedly, missing out only on a host because they were all too young or were guys.
Anyone else work with tap that ass guy? What's your story (no names please!)?