Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Random Red Lobster crap

Mad Bar Tender - a view of things to come?  Another reminder that Darden has become a soulless corporation.  When I tell newer employees of the good old days back in the 90's they think I'm making stuff up.  It is amazing just how little Red Lobster cares for their employees - from the top corporate executives on down to the local management.  I've never seen such a large organization who regularly shoots itself in the foot in regards to employee relations.

A few years back I wrote about some of the sick shit customers do in our restaurants - Doing Gross Things at the Table.  I have a few more to add to that list.

Give me more mommy!
1.  A while ago I was waiting on Mom, Dad and Junior.  Junior looked to be about 6-7 years old I'm guessing.  He was missing some teeth - and by some, it appears that he was the model for most jack-o-lanterns.  So sitting at the table, Junior pull out yet another tooth.  A bit gross, but not out of the ordinary for a 7 year old little boy.  He nicely wrapped the bloody tooth in his napkin and stuck it in his pocket.  This is where the story turns for the bad.  I come back to the table a few minutes after delivering their food to do my check back and make sure everything is great.  As I approach the table I see this horror - mom scoops up some shrimp from Juniors plate with her fork, chews it, spits it out onto the fork, and puts it on his plate.  Junior scoops it up with his fork and proceeds to eat it.  I've seen birds do this, but not people.  That's not right.  When Mom notices that I observed this, she casually says "His tooth is bothering him, we do this all the time."  I stifle vomit and laughter long enough to escape to the alley.  Barely.

2.  If your boobs point to the floor, and you like wearing tank tops, wear a bra.  You don't have to look at you, we do.  A pair of padlocks in tube socks doesn't make people hungry like you might think.

3.  Hock a loogie into your napkin.  I don't care if you just coughed up a hairball the size of Cher.  If you spit that phlegm into your napkin, that means I have to pick that nasty shit up off the table after you leave there Typhoid Terry.  Go outside.  Go to the bathroom.  Go home and choke on it, but don't spit it out here.  Ever.  Ever!

Recently I have been examining some job opportunities, and sizing up my other outside (aka non-Red Lobster) revenue streams, and more and more I see the end of my association with Red Lobster on the horizon.  I don't know when, or if it'll just be a drastic cut back, but I think in the next 6-9 months I'm going to go for it.  If/when that happens, I might be open to taking on some other writers.  Really this blog up to this point has been a lot of my own thoughts, but I know there are others out there with great stuff they could contribute.  Maybe we'll have a Lobster Girl too.  I'm not sure I remember what life without Red Lobster is like since I've been working with RL off and on since the early 90's.  Damn that makes me sound and feel old when I type that.


Mariela Chavez said...

Three months ago I was thrilled when I got hired at Red Lobster. I found your blog, and thought hey maybe he's exaggerating? No, your not.

Another gross thing? I had this woman tonight who kept asking for drawn butter, even after she was done eating her lobster tail. Well, as it turns out, she was drinking it.

Moose said...

I never ever EVER leave behind paper napkins/tissues/towels that have snot or any other body fluid in them. That's just gross.

If it's a cloth napkin, I will only let that happen in the most extreme emergency, and even then try to do what I can to minimize transmitting germs [even going so far as to put it in a plastic baggie first and explaining why (while turning beet red that this happened).]

And, drinking butter? Ok, it takes a lot to gross me out. That did it.

The Bitchy said...

nasty nasty shit indeed.

Anonymous said...

at least she was drinking REAL ya know that the shrimp scampi is cooked in hydrogenated soybean oil not REAL butter.....i love when people dip the biscuits in that crap.....also the biscuits are smeared with the soybean oil in a bottle mixture also.......Yum, fresh ingredients and no REAL butter to be found

Danielle said...

If you're interested in a different perspective, I work for a sister resturant (when you're here, you're family) in the kitchen. I make salads & breadsticks.

WhisperingWriter said...

Oh ewwww about the spitting the food on the plate thing.

I bet you see all sorts of strange things..

My husband loves Red Lobster by the way. If you ever see a guy wearing a Chuck Norris shirt chowing down on crab legs, that's him.

Alyssa said...

Is it bad that I leave work every day fantasizing about how I'm going to tell them off in my yearly evaluation that doesn't come for another 4 months AT LEAST?!