Saturday, December 18, 2010

I love the holidays! I hate the holidaze.

As a server I both love and hate this time of year.

Love - people out having a good time, spending money, sometimes being generous with it.

Love - regulars who give me extra tips and gifts.

Love - managers who give cool things (shh...don't tell!).

Love - cheery mood of many celebrating Christmas parties.

Love - extra hours, extra shifts and a full restaurant.

Love - after work making a fire in the fireplace and sipping some port.

Hate - splitting all the big parties with incompetent coworkers.  Or as I call it babysitting the children.

Hate - grinchy and grumpy old bastards.

Hate - grandma's who pay for the family and still tip like she's in the old country.  $4 on your $139 ticket is not appropriate you old drunken hag.

Love - family members who leave extra money behind after grandma leaves praising my service.

Hate - extra hours, extra shifts, and a full restaurant when I'm pushing 40 hours and they won't let me take more.

Hate - your blinking dumbass Christmas pin.

Hate - cleaning up all your wrapping paper.

Love - endless shrimp is over.

Hate - Endless shrimp.  Just so we're clear.

Hate - idiots who don't know how to drive in snow, which slows down traffic every day, and nearly makes me late to work.  Learn to drive or park it.  The snow isn't going away.

Hate - walking out to a frozen car after my shifts.  Where's that global warming when I need it?

Hate - new work shoes.  Damn demon possessed non-slip pieces of garbage.  Non-slip my ass.  Ever walked on ice in these things?  Might as well be walking on ball bearings.

If I don't get a chance to say it before, have a merry Christmas!


Jake said...

Agreed. Especially about the non slip shit. Those things are worse on ice than regular shoes.

SkippyMom said...

Thank god for the family members who tip after Grandma.

We ALWAYS fight to leave the tip when out with some of our [older] family members.

And no slip is the biggest misnomer there is. Take care and Merry Christmas to you.

Andy said...

Just stumbled on your blog being a server at the lob and all, I HATE those cheap ass people who obviously save to take their families to dinner around this time and don't think to add a little for a tip, I got a 5 on a 250 dollar check the other day and almost puked.

Anonymous said...

Andy...get'll never make any money there.....bad tips and even worse on facebook, the Bitchy Waiter...he just wrote a rip on OLive Garden...Red Lobster is just the same......GET OUT, ANDY, GET OUT !!!

mrclm said...

Heading to the Red Dumpster tonight for only the second time since I quit 3 years ago. I've spent the better part of 8 years of my life in Red Lobster. I'm kinda scared of that initial smell when I walk in the door. That's probably the thing I remember most. I'll turn my brain off so as to not judge too harshly the wait staff and I'll tip generously. I used to be a certified trainer for RL for 7 years teaching waiters & managers how to wait tables. It's hard to not judge others still to this day. Old habit die hard.

Any recommendations on what to eat? I'm sure there has to be new stuff I've never tried, and believe me, even after 3 years off, I'm still not ready for more of the old stuff!

Anonymous said...

I also work in a Darden restaurant (I like to think of my restaurant as the "black sheep" of the company), so I can definitely feel your pain on some of these points. I would honestly be ok with just going home early because people don't come out than having to waste my good (scratch that, great) service on people who don't appreciate it and don't tip becuase they've spent too much money on gifts. It's annoying.

I hope things get better after the holidays! Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

nothing new at Red LObster, they just pair up the same old crap and put a new sauce in a bag on it....... and call it new...YUCK YUCK YUCK....they can do alot with hydrogenated soy bean oil...again..YUCK YUCK YUCK

Ashley said...

Haha, I just blogged something similar!

Anonymous said...

Hey I've nominated you for the LOL award! Read about it on my blog. - Your Friendly Neighborhood Barista

Anonymous said...

Hey I've nominated you for the LOL award! Read about it on my blog. - Your Friendly Neighborhood Barista

Senorita said...

I just found your blog. I was a server at Red Lobster for four years. This brings back all sorts of memories........

Blair said...


I am the webmaster at and I am trying to improve my SEO. Could you please change the anchor text on the link to my site to Funny Waiter Stories? Please still link it to, but just make the hot link say Funny Waiter Stories. I would really appreciate it. Thank You!
Stuck Serving

Anonymous said...

Hey Lobsterboy, you should blog about Darden's new award-They've been named on Fortune Magazine's "Best 100 companies to work for." I smell some kind of sponsorship...

Marsupialus said...

I can't you how many times I had to go back into a restaurant and tip the server after my (late) grandmother gave them 5% on some huge tab.