Happy VD! (Valentine's Day that is)

Valentine's Day is generally one of my two favorite nights of the year to work (New Years being the other one). Lots of 2 tops, generally quick turn over, and lots of money to be made if the cooks don't fuck it all up and get behind.

The drawback is that the significant other in you life just won't understand when you can't EVER get this day off of work.  So just buy some extra chocolates on the way home, or plant for a few extra blow jobs to make it up. Yes ladies, I just equated chocolate to blow jobs.  Deal with it.

But the one thing that always happens is some amateur will undoubtedly propose during the evening.  This is shitty on a number of levels.

1.  It makes all the other commit-o-phobes look like assholes.
2.  It makes the slackers who aren't ready to move out of mom's basement talk about one of the few things in life they don't want to talk about - marriage.  Another one would be used grandma panties.  I've done surveys.
3.  You couldn't come up with a better place to ask the woman of your dreams to spend the rest of her life with you than a place that smells like fryer grease and dock worker ass crack?
4.  You really think trusting your 1/5 carrot wing to a highly caffeinated college dropout pothead server is a wise part of the plan?
5.  You were probably already getting laid tonight - it's Valentine's Day.  So why waste that when you could use the ring at some future date and get guaranteed nookie again?
6.  Back to #3 for a moment - Seriously?  This was all you could come up with?  I'd rather propose at the bus stop.

I quit counting a long time ago the number of people I've "helped" with their proposal.  Ring in the champaign, ring in the shrimp scampi (no, not kidding), ring on a string for a balloon.  But what I do still count is rejections.  Three.  I've been the witness to 3 major fails.

One was so full of fail that the girl actually walked out on the guy after he proposed.  Brother didn't do his homework I guess.

Best one ever though, and I'd gladly do this again, was a Marine who came back on leave without telling his girlfriend he got a week to come home from Afghanistan.  Her friends took her out as a "group date" since they were all kinda fugly/homely looking and didn't have dates themselves I'm guessing.  But they were awesome friends, because they were all in on it - he had called them on his way back to the USA and set it all up.  Her back was to the door, so she didn't see him until he literally knelt down beside her at the table.  She lost it.  Her friends lost it, hell most of the staff and half the restaurant lost it.  He was still in his BDU's (I think that's what they are called anyhow).  When she said yes the place erupted with a cheer and after a few congratulations Mr. Marine took her (leaving the friends to stay and eat) to some nice restaurant elsewhere.

Good luck tonight, make lots of cash.