Sunday, March 18, 2012
1) Strippers shouldn't have braces. I'd rather you be all snaggle toothed or meth-mouthed or using dentures.
2) Nobody looks good in a green thong. Maybe out of said thong, but not in said thong.
3) What is it that every stripper wears for a scent? No, I'm not talking crack sweat and brass pole. There's some weird, artificial, yet not displeasing smell that every stripper I've ever encountered had. And I've been in strip clubs in nearly ever corner of the country and some overseas while in service years ago. Well...the Thai strippers didn't smell the same, but half of them were dudes so I don't think that counts.
4) What is it about crazy holidays that manages to get me in a strip club?
5) Why does my old lady like strip clubs more than me at this point in my life?
6) What the hell is the point of pasties? I mean she can grind her giblets on my nose but I'm not supposed to know what is under that sticker?
7) Pasties would be better if they were scratch and sniff.
8) Don't order Scotch at low rent strip clubs.
9) I won't strip for my old lady.
10) Happy St. Green Beer's Day!