Sunday, March 18, 2012

Strange thoughts from under a shamrock


1)  Strippers shouldn't have braces.  I'd rather you be all snaggle toothed or meth-mouthed or using dentures.

2)  Nobody looks good in a green thong.  Maybe out of said thong, but not in said thong.

3)  What is it that every stripper wears for a scent?  No, I'm not talking crack sweat and brass pole.  There's some weird, artificial, yet not displeasing smell that every stripper I've ever encountered had.  And I've been in strip clubs in nearly ever corner of the country and some overseas while in service years ago.  Well...the Thai strippers didn't smell the same, but half of them were dudes so I don't think that counts.

4)  What is it about crazy holidays that manages to get me in a strip club? 

5)  Why does my old lady like strip clubs more than me at this point in my life?

6)  What the hell is the point of pasties?  I mean she can grind her giblets on my nose but I'm not supposed to know what is under that sticker?

7)  Pasties would be better if they were scratch and sniff.

8)  Don't order Scotch at low rent strip clubs.

9)  I won't strip for my old lady.

10)  Happy St. Green Beer's Day!

4 comments:

mo said...

You obviously haven't seen me in a green thong! I look great!

The One & Only Nena said...

SORRY I COULDNT FIND HOW TO MESSAGE U BUT IS THERE ANY WAY YOU WOULD KNOW THE RECIPE FOR THE BERRY MANGO DAIQUIRI?

Lobster Boy said...

Nina - there really isn't a "recipe" in the sense that you are meaning. It is a blend of fruit products and shaved ice from company that makes our drink machines (Island Oasis). You can find out about their products here - http://www.islandoasis.com/io_recipes.aspx if you are so inclined. You can order their mixes for home use. I'd suggest using a good light rum - Bacardi is always a good starting point (you can do better).

Sarah said...

the scent is probably one from Victoria's Secret. there's sort of a sickly (for my taste) sweet faux flower angel scent that not so classy-trying-to-be-classy people I know wear. it might be that.