Cell phones - the scourge of the service industry

I could rail on for days about assclow customers using their cell phones and being massive dickwads while doing so.  I done a bit of that previously, and likely will cover it again in the future.

But this is about self-important shit for brain servers who feel like they must Tweet everything and get every single text message photo of their girlfriend's cat taking a dump the instant it is sent or the world may come to a screeching halt.

It won't.  Put the fucking phone away dumbass.  Sidework needs to be done, and where are you?  In the corner playing pocket pool with your cell phone.  You're at work.  I just walked your last two tables of food while you were texting some skeezy dude who is going to bang you ditch you the first chance he gets.

I don't care if your wife/daughter/sister/grandma/pit bull is about to give birth.  They can do it without you, or take the night off for fucks sake.  Put the phone away.

As a long time server, I'm not one to complain about service, but if I see you using your phone, if your phone buzzes, beeps, vibrates or bangs while you are near my table, it is no-holds barred hell that I am going to make your life.

Be professional.  Have some boundaries.  Grow up.  Put the phone away and go to work and maybe you'll actually make something of yourself in this life rather than just the self-inflated idea you have in your imagination.